The Adventures of Elevator Lance Season 2
by KiethBlackLion
Summary: Originally intended to be only one season long, Elevator Lance was such a big hit on the Voltron Forums that I wrote a second season. Season 2 continues where season one ended and features more celebrity guests. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll wonder what in the world I was thinking when I wrote some of these.
1. S2E1 The Return of Elevator Lance

******Disclaimer: **_I do not own any of the characters , settings, etc involving Voltron: Defender of the Universe. These stories are for entertainment purposes only and are to be viewed as parodies._

* * *

**The Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**The Return of Elevator Lance **

"Where's the message coming from?" Keith asked.

"It's coming from Earth," Coran informed in.

"Maybe its Lance," Pidge piped in.

"Yeah. Then we can ask him what he's been doing," Hunk said.

Allura moved next to Keith. "Patch the message through immediately, Coran."

Coran pushed some buttons and the main view screen flickered to life. On the huge screen is an image of Lance sitting next to a police officer and wearing handcuffs.

"Hey guys, could one of you wire me some bail money?"

Allura, Hunk and Pidge exchanged looks and then they all looked at Keith.

Keith looked at his three teammates and shrugged. "Call it a hunch."

6 Months Later...

Lance was happy to be home on Arus. After serving five months of community service on Earth he was looking forward to getting back in Red Lion. He got up a little extra early and took his time getting ready. After getting a nice shower, Lance got dressed, had a big breakfast and headed off to work.

He stood in the hallway, waiting on the elevator to arrive. As he waited, a pair of beautiful, blonde twins walked by and gave him a seductive wink as they each put a piece of chewing gum into their mouths.

"It's great to be back," he said to himself. Lance turned his head back to the elevator just as the chime rang.

The doors to the elevator opened and standing in the elevator was a black robed figure, his head covered with red and black tattoos. Stubbed horns protruded from the top of his head.

"I've been waiting for you." Darth Maul pulled out his lightsaber and extended the two blades.

Lance reached into his coat and pulled out a lightsaber. He pressed the activation button, igniting the blue blade.

Lance rushed into the elevator striking at Darth Maul. Blades clashed and light flashed as the two combatants, standing at opposite sides of the elevator, slashed, cut and parried each other's blades.

The elevator stopped on the 20th floor and as the doors opened Lance and Maul stopped and looked towards the hallway. Standing there frozen in front of the door was a nun and small group of children.

"Going down?" asked Lance.

"We'll catch the next one," the Nun said.

The doors closed and the elevator started down again. Lance launched another series of slashes at Darth Maul who easily blocked and parried each swing. The elevator stopped again on the 15th floor. The two men stopped fighting and Darth Maul sighed in annoyance. The doors opened and standing in front of the door was a little French poodle.

The poodle removed the cigarette from its mouth and spoke in a heavy French accent. "Oh, Sir...it is so good to see you again." The poodle took a puff on the cigarette, the released smoke taking on a heart shape as it flew towards Lance. "I've missed you."

Lance started pushing the 'close door' button on the elevator.

As the doors closed, Maul gave Lance a weird look.

Lance shook his head at Maul, "Don't ask."

Lance and Maul started fighting again. The hums and clashes of their lightsabers filled the elevator shaft. The numbers counted down to 1 and the elevator stopped. Both men were panting and sweating. The doors opened and two Jedi approached the elevator.

"We'll handle this," Qui-Gon Jinn stated.

Lance turned off his lightsaber. "He's all yours."

Lance exited the elevator and Qui-Gon Jinn and his Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the elevator. Lance could hear the sounds of their combat as the elevator started back up the shaft.

Lance smiled. "It's good to be back."


	2. S2E2 Lance Meets Walter

**The Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Elevator Lance Meets Walter**

It was a typical Wednesday morning at the Castle of Lions. Lance had just finished his breakfast and was on his way out the door.

Keith was exiting his quarters when he ran into Lance. "Good morning, Lance."

"Morning," Lance replied. He activated the lock on his door as Keith approached.

"Ready to go?" Keith asked.

"All set."

The two walked from their quarters on the top floor of the castle towards the elevators.

"So, how does it feel now that you've finally decided to ask Allura to marry you?" Lance asked.

"It feels good. But I'm a bit nervous," Keith admitted. "What if she doesn't say yes?"

"Then she's a fool," Lance assured him. "Besides, you have nothing to worry about. None of us would be able to stop her from saying yes fast enough."

Feeling reassured, Keith pressed the button to call the elevator.

"I must warn you Keith, I always meet the strangest people on this elevator."

"Why is that?" Keith asked.

"I don't know. It feels as though there is a higher force involved." Lance looked up at the ceiling. "Almost like someone is controlling the events of my life."

The elevator doors opened and as the two pilots entered they noticed an old man leaning on a cane standing next to the elevator's wall.

"Morning." Keith smiled at the old man.

"Morning," the old man replied.

As he pushed the button for the first floor, Lance whispered in Keith's ear. "What did I tell ya?"

Keith ignored Lance. "I've never seen you before, sir? Are you new here?"

"Yes, I'm Walter. I just moved to Arus a month ago from Earth."

"Oh? What did you do on Earth?" Keith asked.

Walter shifted his weight on his cane. "I was a greeter at Wal-Mart."

"A greeter at Wal-Mart?" Lance asked. "Well, then why did you come to Arus?"

"Wal-Mart fired me."

"How do you get fired from being a greeter at Wal-Mart?" Lance asked.

"Some people got offended by my opening line when they came in the store."

Lance could see the curiosity on Keith's face and shook his head, trying to tell him to just let it go.

Keith ignored Lance again. "What was your line?"

"Welcome to Wal-Mart. Get your shit and get out!" Walter smiled. "Have a nice day."

Lance pushed the button for the first floor again, hoping that maybe this one time it would speed up the elevator.

The three stood in silence for several floors. Keith, being a nervous wreck, pulled out the small box that contained a ring with a very rare Arusian diamond, the same ring he was going to use to ask Allura to marry him.

"You planning on asking someone to marry you?" Walter asked Keith.

"Yes I am."

"I'm married, have been for 45 yrs."

Keith's eyes opened wide. "Wow. I'm impressed."

"Don't be," Walter told him. "I'm not."

Keith looked at the ring and then at Walter. "What was the happiest moment of your life?"

"46 years ago."

"That can't be true," Keith stated.

"You'll see." Walter shifted his weight again. "You know the part where you say 'til death do us part'?"

"Yeah…," Keith answered.

"It's not until much later that you realize that you're actually setting a goal."

"Isn't that being a bit negative?" Keith asked him.

"I don't know…I thought it was funny," Lance chimed in.

Keith rolled his eyes at Lance then turned to Walter. "Are you and your wife not getting along anymore?"

"Son, we never got along to begin with."

"It can't be that bad," Keith said.

"Well, take this morning for example," Walter said. "She rolled out of bed, jumped on her menstrual cycle and ran my ass over."

Lance erupted into a fit of laughter.

"I've never heard it put quite that way before," Keith commented.

Walter just shook his head. "You'll see."

"What's the love life like at your age?" Keith inquired.

"You mean sex?"

"Yeah…"

Walter gave Keith a stern look. "I'm married you moron!"

Lance was laughing even harder now.

"Come on, there's no romance or foreplay?" Keith asked.

"At our age, foreplay has come down to this: 'Hey, wake up'."

Lance continued laughing behind Keith's back.

"Do you want to know what oral sex is for us now?" Walter continued.

"What?" asked Keith.

"She yells 'Screw you!' and I yell 'Bite me!'."

"How do you keep things fresh in the bedroom, then?" asked Keith.

"Febreeze."

Tears were streaming down Lance's face and his ribs were aching."

"You know, when I was younger I was quite the ladies man," Walter told Keith.

"Oh?"

"I use to chase skirts all over the Earth….until I got to Scotland, and boy was I surprised."

The elevator came to a stop at the first floor. Lance, still in tears, exited the elevator with Keith. Walter remained on the elevator as the doors closed.

"That guy was funny. I hope I meet him again."

"Yeah," Keith said as he stared at the little box in his hand. "Hey Lance…"

"Yeah?" Lance managed to say as he wiped away the last of his tears.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Tell Allura and the others that I'm going to be a bit late to practice today." Keith placed the box back in his pocket.

"Ok, but why?"

"I need to go to the store and buy a lot of Febreeze."


	3. S2E3 The Elevator Zone

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**The Elevator Zone**

Lance was running a little late this morning. He had to hurry to get dressed and rushed down the hall to the elevator.

"Stupid alarm clock, Lance mumbled to himself. He pressed the button for the first floor and waited impatiently.

The elevator stopped one level below to let another passenger on.

"It's going to be one of those days," Lance grumbled.

The doors opened and Lance saw a young Australian man on the elevator.

"Morning," the young man said with a heavy accent.

"G'day Mate. Let's put another shrimp on the Barbie," Lance said trying to imitate the accent.

The guy gave Lance a weird look. "Let's not." The guy pushed the button to close the doors.

The elevator began to move again dropping several floors before stopping again.

"Geez…not again," Lance said.

The elevator doors opened again and Allura stepped in.

"Morning, Lance," Allura greeted him.

"Morning, Allura."

Allura turned to the young man. "Good morning, SGB." She leaned against the back of the elevator and stared at her left hand.

SGB noticed Allura's left hand. "Nice diamond."

"Thank you," Allura said. "A very special person gave this to me."

"So I take it there's some good news to be delivered?" Lance asked, giving Allura a knowing wink.

"Yes, this afternoon to be exact," she said. "That is when I will announce to the entire planet that I am getting married."

"Congratulations," SGB said.

"I knew it would eventually happen," Lance said knowingly. "I'm very happy for you two."

"Thanks, Lance. We're so thrilled." Allura smiled. "It's been a long time coming. I know a lot of people won't be happy about it, but they'll just have to get over it. I know what my heart wants and I'm not going to deny it any longer."

"Well, I think that's…." Lance stopped midsentence. "Did, you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" SGB asked.

Lance looked up at the ceiling of the elevator. "It sounded like something moved on the roof."

"You must have imagined it," Allura said, never taking her eyes off her ring.

Lance continued looking up at the elevator's ceiling.

SGB shrugged and Allura continued staring at the diamond ring on her left hand.

Lance kept staring intently at the ceiling.

The elevator stopped again. The doors opened but there was no one standing in the hallway.

"What the…?" SGB said as he poked his head outside the elevator.

Lance saw the trap door in the ceiling open and a strange creature's face appeared in the opening. "Look! Up there!"

SGB and Allura look up at the ceiling but they see nothing.

"I don't see anything," Allura said.

"Me neither," came SGB's response.

Lance pointed at the ceiling. "I just saw a creature poke its head through the trap door."

SGB looked at the ceiling door, which was closed. "There's nothing up there." The elevator doors closed and the car started moving down again.

"Look, I'm not imagining it. I saw a creature appear through the door."

"What did you have for breakfast?" Allura asked.

"Look, I'm not crazy. I saw something up there," Lance protested.

"Yeah right…" SGB said.

Allura went back to admiring her ring.

"_I know I saw something_," Lance thought.

The trap door opened again and a strange little creature poked its head in and waved to Lance. The door closed and the elevator suddenly jerked violently and stopped.

Allura fell to the floor. "What was that?"

"It's that creature," Lance cried out.

"Let's not panic." SGB opened the control panel and started checking the wiring.

"I'm telling you, there's something up there and it's out to kill us." Lance was becoming visibly shaken.

"Would you calm down, Lance." Allura picked herself up off the floor as SGB got the elevator moving again.

SGB closed the panel. "That should get us to the ground floor."

"You don't get it! There is a creature on the roof of this elevator and he's out to kill us all!" Lance stated.

Allura grabbed Lance's shoulders and started shaking him violently, then slapped him across the face. "Get ahold of yourself!"

Lance was stunned by the slap. "I'm sorry; I don't know what got into me."

Suddenly a ceiling panel fell and landed on SGB's head, knocking him out. As Allura turned to look at SGB, the strange creature swung in from the ceiling door and kicked Allura, knocking her into the wall and knocking her out. The creature growled then grinned at Lance.

"What the hell?" was all Lance could say.

The small creature ran over to the control panel and started ripping the buttons off and pulling out wires.

"Stop that!" Lance cried out as he moved towards the creature.

Creature growled menacingly then climbed up the wall and back out onto the elevator's roof.

The elevator lurched again then picked up speed. Lance could feel the G forces created by the elevator falling.

Lance rushed over to the panel and frantically pressed the brake button. "Come on!"

Lance could do nothing but watch the floor numbers count down faster and faster. 12…11…10…9…8…

He closed his eyes, preparing for the worst. 4…3…2…1… The elevator suddenly stopped and the doors opened. Standing in front of the elevator were two men in white coats holding a straight jacket.

"Grab him!" yelled the first man.

The two men struggle to put the straight jacket on Lance.

"What are you doing? I'm a hero! I saved the elevator," Lance cried out.

SGB and Allura emerged from the elevator.

"This guy needs help," SGB stated. "Be sure he gets it."

"Yes sir!" said the second man.

As the two took Lance away, he swore up and down about seeing the creature.

"I'm telling you, there was a creature in there. I saved the elevator. You have to believe me."

As the two men carry Lance off, they walk past a young woman holding her two year old son. The son grinned then growled menacingly at Lance.

"Christopher, you be nice to the crazy man," the lady said.

Later that day…

Allura was holding a press conference in front of the Castle of Lions.

"Again, I would like to thank SGB for his quick action in the elevator this morning. If it wasn't for him, our dear friend Lance may have been seriously hurt. And if Lance is watching, we hope he has a speedy recovery. Next, I have some wonderful news. Yesterday a very special person told me how much I mean to them and asked me a very important question.

Lance was sitting the lounge of the castle's hospital wing. His best friend and leader, Keith was sitting beside him. "Congrats," Lance said as he nudged Keith with his elbow.

"For what?" Keith asked.

"For asking Allura to marry you."

"I asked but she didn't say yes."

"Why did she turn you down?"

"Listen and you'll find out." Keith pointed at the screen as Allura's voice drifted through the monitor's speakers.

"So now, I would like to announce that as of yesterday evening, I am official engaged to the most wonderful person in the universe. Allow me to introduce my fiancé, Katherine."

A beautiful woman with long red hair and a well developed chest stepped onto the stage and stood beside Allura, taking her hand and kissing her on the cheek.

Lance's mouth dropped. "Now, I wasn't expecting that."

"I don't think the reader was expecting that either," Keith remarked.


	4. S2E4 Tale of Two Lances

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**A Tale of Two Lances**

It was a beautiful Friday morning. The sun was shining brightly through Lance's bedroom window. The alarm went off and Lance rose out of bed. Lance yawned and stretched then headed to the kitchen. He had been in the hospital wing for four days before Pidge and Hunk found the security footage that showed the creature that attacked the elevator. That footage secured his release and his doctor cleared him for active duty.

Lance fixed his coffee and picked up his newspaper. Glancing down at his table he noticed an envelope laying there. He picked it up and opened it.

Lance spit out his coffee as he read the contents of the envelope. "What the hell?"

Lance got dressed immediately and left, carrying the letter with him. Lance ran down the hallway, almost knocking over Nanny, a waiter with a breakfast tray and three midgets dressed as power rangers.

He bolted into the elevator just as the doors closed. As the elevator started moving down, Lance bent over trying to catch his breath, unaware that there was someone else in the elevator with him.

"Morning," came a voice from Lance's left.

Lance turned to see Lance from Voltron the Third Dimension standing there. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm your replacement. Didn't you get the memo?" asked V3D Lance.

Lance looked at the letter in his hand. "Well, I got this letter saying that I was fired but there's nothing in here about being replaced by a second rate CGI character."

"Second rate CGI? For your information, V3D was state of the art!" V3D Lance argued.

"No, Beast Wars was state of the art, V3D was just sad," Lance countered.

"And I suppose that you think the anime version was any better?" V3D Lance asked.

"Yes we are!"

"At least V3D was made on this side of the world. We didn't have to be imported then reassembled like some cheaply made, bootleg Voltron."

"At least we showed emotions on our show. You guys looked like cardboard cutouts trying to act."

"If you call that emotion," V3D Lance stated. "You guys played your roles like stereotypes. You had the naïve, dumb blonde; the fat guy that ate a lot; the short guy who had to be smart, otherwise he wouldn't be on the team; the foreign guy who could not be understood by anyone; you had the leader who showed hardly any feelings other than that of the dark, brooding, emotionally distraught leader and let's not forget the fun loving, cocky, hard-headed, man-whore. At least I had a bigger role in V3D than you ever did."

Lance got up in V3D Lance's face. "Well, at least our uniforms looked good. And we wore more than just one outfit."

"Our uniforms looked more militaristic and less like something out of a 70s disco-tech. And at least they matched the lions."

"Those uniforms looked retarded. You might as well have been wearing Robocop armor," Lance argued. "And whose idea was it to match the lions? I look horrible in red."

"And you think the bomber jacket helped your look?"

Lance poked V3D Lance in the chest with his finger. "Hey! The girls like the jacket."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Standing in front of the elevator was Allura and her V3D counterpart discussing their looks.

"Come by my quarters and we'll fix that hair of yours," Allura said.

"You don't like it?" asked V3D Allura.

"Honey, it needs work," Allura said. "And that pink dress looks like it was painted on. Can you even move in that thing?"

V3D Allura ran her hands over her dress. "Well, it is a little tight."

The two princesses turned and looked at the two Lances.

"We'll take the next one," Allura said.

The elevator doors closed and the two Lances went at it again.

"If you want to talk about looks, why don't we start with Haggar," Lance said. "She looks like the Emperor's sister. And what was with the floating cloud?"

"Haggar didn't look that much better in the cartoon either. She looked like the wicked witch of the west's deformed clone. At least we didn't need the space mice to save our butts."

"You may not have had the space mice, but you did have Amalgamus."

"That was a low blow," V3D Lance remarked.

"What you guys did to the lions was low," Lance argued. "They looked anorexic."

"At least our Coran's shirt buttons remained constant."

"So did your low ratings," Lance countered.

"We won several daytime awards for our show," V3D Lance bragged.

"The judges were paid off."

"Well the old anime style just isn't enough to stay on the air any more. Look at how many times Cartoon Network keeps changing your air time."

"Kids nowadays just don't appreciate good animation any more," Lance said matter-of-factly. "Thanks to shows like Spongebob Squarepants. Besides, at least we're still on the air. I'm sure your Terminator looking Lotor helped end your show."

V3D Lance pressed the stop button. "That's it, I'm gonna kick your butt."

"Your flight suit won't let you kick that high."

"Oh yeah!" V3D Lance launched himself at Lance.

The two Lances started throwing fists at each other. They were soon kicking, grabbing, punching, and throwing each other around the elevator. V3D Lance threw Lance into the control panel, causing him to hit the stop button again. The elevator began to move and eventually stopped on the first floor. The doors opened and both Keith and V3D Keith were standing there.

The two Keith's pulled out their pistols and pointed them at their respective Lance counterparts.

"Ok you two knock it off," Keith told them. "We've got a board meeting with Ted Koplar and the employees at World Events Productions."

"So get your act together, clean up and come on," V3D Keith said.

Lance wiped blood from his mouth. "Yes sir."

"Yes sir," V3D Lance said as he replaced pieces of his flight suit that fell off during the fight.

The four left the lobby headed for a conference room down the hall. As they entered the conference room, Lance was greeted by Commander Hawkins, Marshal Graham and Amalgamus.

"This is gonna be a long meeting," both Lances said simultaneously.


	5. S2E5 Lance Meets Soundwave

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Lance Meets Soundwave**

There are some mornings in which we wake up and we feel an overpowering sense that something very good is going to happen that day. Today was no exception for Lance. There was just something in the air, something other than the lingering smell of ladies perfume permeating off the bed sheets. Of course, it helped that the decision to replace him and the others with their V3D counterparts was rescinded.

Lance walked down the hall to the elevator with his head held high and a smile on his face. He greeted all the busy castle personnel as he made his way to his daily commute. Lance's eyes sparkled and his smile grew as he watched one of the young maids walk up to him.

"Good morning Isabel," Lance said.

Isabel walked up to Lance and swung her hand as hard as she could, striking Lance across the face.

Lance grabbed his cheek. "What was that for?"

"That was for not calling me last Friday night," Isabel stated.

"I'm sorry, something just….came up," he told her.

"I bet!" Isabel said before storming off down the hallway.

As Lance turned around another young woman dressed in a suit walked up to him.

He was about to greet her when her hand greeted him first.

Lance grabbed his other cheek. "What was that for?"

"That was for standing me up last Friday night," Clarice said.

"I'm sorry…there was an emergency and…"

"Save it for someone who cares." Clarice stormed off in the opposite direction of Isabel.

Lance watched Clarice walk away then turned around to see Nanny approaching him.

Nanny winked and smiled at Lance. "Thanks for last Friday night."

Lance could only muster a fake and weak smile.

Nanny pinched Lance as she walked past him.

Lance rubbed his right butt cheek. "I've got to stop drinking so much."

The elevator bell rang and the doors opened to the sound of terrible elevator music. However, the music wasn't coming from the speakers overhead but from a small, blue boom box on the floor.

"I wonder where this came from." Lance knelt down and examined the outdated radio. "I wonder how you turn it off."

After several moments Lance finally located the off switch and flipped it.

"That's better," Lance said.

Lance rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet while the elevator continued its downward motion. Suddenly, the bad music started up again. Once again, Lance flipped the off switch.

The elevator passed several more floors before the music started a third time.

"What the?" Lance said as he pressed the off switch.

Once again the music stopped. As Lance stood up, the music turned back on.

"Why you little!" Lance knelt down and grabbed the radio, shaking it violently.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. An elderly couple that was standing in front of the doors watched Lance shake and cuss the boom box.

Lance looked up nervously and smiled, a bit embarrassed.

"We'll get the next one," the elderly man said.

The doors closed and the music started again.

Lance threw the boom box across the elevator.

The boom box banged against the wall then fell to the floor. The cassette door on the boom box opened and four cassettes ejected outward from it. In mid-air they all transformed. The purple and red cassettes transformed into identical, humanoid robots the size of Lance. The black cassette transformed into a panther looking robot and the fourth cassette transformed into a vulture looking robot.

"Hey! No one throws us around like that!" Rumble said.

Frenzy stepped forward. "I say we pound him into a puddle of goo."

Ravage growled at Lance.

Laserbeak squawked at Lance, hovering just above the other robots.

"Wha…wha…what are you? New kinds of robeasts?" Lance asked as he backed up against the wall.

"We're not robeasts," Rumble stated. "We're Decepticons."

"Where did you come from?"

Frenzy pointed at the boom box. "From him."

The blue boom box slowly grew in size then transformed into a large humanoid robot. Lance was forced to crouch into one of the corners of the elevator as the robot grew in size as it transformed, taking up the entire space within the elevator. Rumble and Frenzy took cover between the giant robot's legs. Ravage became pinned between Soundwave's foot and the elevator wall and Laserbeak got trapped between the wall and Soundwave's back.

The elevator shuddered violently from the increased weight within it.

"Uh oh," Rumble said. "Soundwave, you better transform back, I don't think the elevator is going to hold up much longer."

Soundwave spoke in a deep, synthesized voice. "Unable to transform. Circuits damaged. Beginning internal repairs."

"That's just great!" Frenzy said then pointed at Lance. "You broke him. You threw him into the wall and broke him."

The elevator shuddered again and stopped.

"We're all gonna die!" cried Rumble.

Frenzy transformed his right arm into a pile driver, then aimed at Rumble's head and fired.

Rumble crashed into Soundwave's foot and blacked out from the hit.

Frenzy looked at Lance. "You want to be next?"

Lance shook his head.

"Ok, then fix him," Frenzy said then pointed to Soundwave.

"But I don't know how," Lance told him.

"Then you better learn!" Frenzy said, aiming his pile driver at Lance.

Lance crawled over to where Frenzy is kneeling beneath Soundwave.

There is the sound of a cable snapping and the elevator jerked hard.

"Hurry!" yelled Frenzy.

Lance: looked around, taking in the sight of the giant robot.

"Well…hurry up." Frenzy was becoming more and more impatient.

"I have an idea…" Lance rolled onto his back then, taking careful aim, kicked hard up between Soundwave's legs.

Soundwave's eyes glowed bright red, then in a high pitched voice he said "Thanks."

Soundwave transformed back into the boom box. Just as he finished transforming, Rumble awoke.

"Whoa, what hit me?" Rumble asked.

"I have no idea," Frenzy said before transforming back into the cassette tape and flying into Soundwave's tape deck.

Lance mimicked Frenzy's punch to Rumble's head.

Rumble became furious. "That son-of-a-transistor!" He transformed into a cassette and followed Frenzy.

Laserbeak fell from the ceiling, dazed, but still managed to transform and follow the others.

Ravage collapsed onto the floor and remained there.

"Wow…the guys aren't going to believe this," Lance said quietly.

The elevator started moving again until if finally came to a rest on the bottom floor. His body full of excitement, Lance ran out of the elevator to find his friends. After much convincing, Lance brought the Voltron Force back to the elevator.

"See, what did I tell you?" Lance said while looking at his friends and pointing to the elevator.

"Uh Lance….there's nothing in there," Keith said hesitantly.

"What!" Lance looked around the elevator. "But they were here, I swear!"

"Lance, have you been drinking again?" asked Hunk.

"Yeah, remember what happened the last time you drank?" Pidge inquired.

"Nanny still hasn't stopped smiling," Allura added.

"I haven't been drinking and I didn't imagine it," Lance said in his defense. "They were here. Big robots. And they talked all funny and…"

"Come on guys, we've got work to do," Keith stated.

As everyone left with Lance still telling his story, a small blue mouse entered the elevator. After a few moments of searching, Cheddar found a small black cassette tape wedged inside a busted seam along the floor and the elevator wall. Thinking that it might be a good luck charm, he snatched it up and took it back to the nest.


	6. S2E6 The Movie Script

**The Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**The Script**

Lance was not a happy camper this morning. He had received a bootleg copy of the first draft of the script for the Voltron movie and nearly spit his coffee all over his kitchen. He was headed down the hallway now, visibly agitated. As the elevator door opened, he saw Keith waiting inside, a copy of the script in his hand.

"You read it too, I see," Lance remarked as he got on the elevator.

Keith gave Lance a cold stare. "Oh yes, I read it alright."

"I can't believe that anyone would be supporting this garbage," Lance said as he pushed the first floor button.

"People make fun of my go-go boots and mullet, which I can tolerate. But can you imagine what people will say when they see this?" Keith shook the script in the air. "This is absurd."

"At least you're still 'you'." Lance commented. "They changed my whole ethnic background. I'm sorry, but that's not me. It's nothing more than the writer filling in a Hollywood quota."

"And you think the changes they made to me still make me 'me'? They turned me into the spokesman for Harley-Davidson! All I'm missing are the chaps and a goatee," Keith fumed.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Hunk and Pidge entered the elevator, each holding their copy of the script.

"I see that Pidge and I aren't the only ones who saw this," Hunk stated as he held up his copy of the script.

"Join the club, pal," was all Lance had to say.

Pidge kicked the wall as the elevator began moving again. "I hate Justin Marks!"

Keith placed a hand on Pidge's shoulder. "Easy there, Pidge. Don't put a hole in the wall."

Pidge continued rambling out loud but mostly to himself. "Feral wild child, my ass. If I'm supposed to be a boy genius you'd think I'd be smart enough to find food."

"And why does everything have to be post-apocalyptic?" Hunk asked. "How about finding Voltron just before or during the invasion? And why does everything take place in New York? There's more than one city on Earth."

Lance started to calm down after hearing his friends bitch and complain. "You know, we should just be thankful that a script has been written."

They all stared at him for several moments.

"Are you brain dead? Did you even pay attention to what they did to us?" Pidge asked him.

"Look, all I'm saying is that it's the first draft, let's wait and see before we start judging."

"Yeah, we'll wait and see it get worse," Hunk stated.

"I'd hate to see what the Princess is going to do after reading this," Keith remarked.

"I'm sure it won't be all that bad once the movie is actually made," Lance said, trying to be optimistic.

"Well of course you'd say that. They didn't change you as much as they changed the rest of us," Pidge fumed.

"Yeah…I have a wife and kids; I'm not supposed to have a wife and kids," Hunk remarked.

Lance smiled. "I think I can live with the changes they made for me. After all, once I go black…."

"The fans will want their money back," Keith finished.

"Dude, that was just wrong," Lance pointed out.

"Or how about '…the script writer is on crack'," Pidge added.

Hunk couldn't resist throwing his own into the mix. "Or '…we'd rather have V3D back'."

"Or '…I want my mullet back'." Keith smiled.

Lance was getting annoyed. "Ok guys, this isn't funny any more."

As the elevator continued down, the Voltron Force continued their barrage of the script. For the only hope now, was for a dedicated fanboy to step in and deliver what the fans truly wanted. Something they could recognize as Voltron: Defender of the Universe.


	7. S2E7 Lance Meets Ozzy

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Lance Meets Ozzy**

It was once again Friday and Lance was looking forward to the weekend. He had a hot date planned for the night and there was a big charity concert scheduled for Saturday night that Allura had arranged. Then on Sunday him and Keith were going on an all day fishing trip, it was looking to be a very nice weekend for Lance.

The elevator doors opened and as Lance stepped in he was shocked to see Ozzy Osbourne standing in the elevator.

"Wow! You're Ozzy Osbourne!"

"Andjustwhothefuckareyou?" [translation: And just who the fuck are you?.] Ozzy asked, his eyes barely open.

"I'm Lance, the pilot of Red Lion and the star of this short story series."

"Wellarentyousofuckingspecial ." [translation: Well, aren't you so fucking special.]

Lance was stunned from both his excitement of being in the same elevator as Ozzy and by his sarcasm. "Mr, Osbourne, just what are you doing here?"

"Wellsomeprincessaskedmetotak epartinaconcerttomorrownight ." [translation: Well, some princess asked me to take part in a concert tomorrow night.]

"Ok." Lance stood there awkwardly as he tried to come up with something to say. "So, how are the wife and kids?"

"Youmeansharon? Sharon!Sharon!" [translation: You mean Sharon? Sharon! Sharon!.]

Lance looked a little concerned for Ozzy. "Uh…Mr. Osbourne, forgive me for asking but, are you drunk?"

"Drunk? Howdareyouaccusemeofdrinking ! DoIluklikeIvebendrinkin? ForyorinformationImnotdrunk…..Imtotallyfuckingwasted?" [translation: How dare you accuse me of drinking! Do I look like I've been drinking? For your information I'm not drunk…I'm totally fucking wasted!]

"Yeah…" Lance just rolled his eyes.

"Dontyourollyoreysatme. Illcomovrthrankckyurfckngass !" [Don't roll your eyes at me. I'll come over there and kick your fucking ass.]"

Lance was beginning to get angry. "You'll do what?"

"IsaidIllkichfnrjnvioshjfklen fhfiu…andthenIllfjfiohfweinfhnfoif h" [translation: 'The author has no friggin' idea what he just said'.]

To Lance's joy, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. He and Ozzy were greeted by a mob of Osbourne fans who tried to rush the elevator. Ozzy stepped out first, engulfing himself with the mob; Lance happily slid around the group and headed to the control room.


	8. S2E8 Lance's Star Trek: Part 1

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Lance's Star Trek: Part I**

Lance and Pidge were walking up to the elevator. It had been a hard day defending Arus from another robeast and they were both tired.

"I really need a shower," Lance said.

Pidge sniffed the air. "Yes you do. You smell like you landed in a big, steamy pile of…" Pidge stopped in mid sentence.

A young and attractive fangirl was trying to get Pidge's attention. "Pidge! Over here!"

Pidge grinned at Lance. "If you will excuse me…" Pidge walked over to the fangirl and started flirting with her.

"And everyone says that I'm the horn dog of the team," Lance mumbled to himself.

The elevator doors opened and Lance stepped in, pressing the button for the thirtieth floor. The calm and boring music started to play as the elevator began to move. Lance was so exhausted that he could barely keep himself upright. He leaned against the wall and yawned. After a few short moments he was sound asleep.

There was a hard jolt, the elevator stopped cold. Lance all but fell onto the floor.

"What was that?" Lance asked himself.

Lance pressed the buttons on the control panel but nothing happened. After a few minutes the elevator jolted again then began moving.

"Weird…" Lance said.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Lance stood in the door way of the elevator staring. He couldn't believe where he was.

Captain Kirk stood up from his Captain's Chair. "Who…are you?"

"Uh…sorry….wrong floor," was all Lance could say.

The doors to the elevator closed and Lance pressed the button for the thirtieth floor. The doors immediately opened again. Everyone on the bridge of the Enterprise stopped what they were doing and watched as Lance tried to get the elevator to move which resulted in the elevator doors opening and closing. Finally he just gave up.

Lance sighed then walked out onto the bridge. "Uh…can you tell me where I am?"

"This is the…Starship…Enter-prise," Kirk told him.

"Why do you talk like that?" Lance asked.

"I…have no idea…what…you…are….talking about," Kirk answered.

"Uh yeah…" Lance looked over as Spock walked up to him. Lance looked up at the Vulcan and swallowed hard. "Hi…"

"It is illogical for you to be here."

"No kidding," Lance said flatly.

"Where are you from?" Spock asked.

"Planet Arus. I was in the elevator and…"

"Elevator?" asked Chekov turning around in his seat.

"A primitive human device used for transportation within a building," Spock said, answering Checkov's question.

"It is similar to a turbo lift?" Checkov remarked.

"In a manner of speaking," Spock stated. He turned to Lance. "How did you get here?"

"How should I know? I was asleep when the elevator suddenly stopped."

Kirk turned to his communications officer. "Uhura…call…Dr. McCoy….to the bridge. Tell him…we've…got someone…he should meet."

"Yes, Captain. "Uhura turned in her seat, but mumbled under her breath. "You fat, lazy, jackass. I've got someone for you to meet….my foot."

McCoy's voice came through the comm system. "What is it," Uhura."

"Dr., the captain needs you on the bridge."

McCoy sighed. "Alright, I'll be right there."

Uhura mumbled. "You better, you drunk bastard."

"What was that?" McCoy asked.

"Nothing," Uhura said.

"Look, can I go now?" Lance asked.

"Not yet…we…need to…figure out how…you got here first."

"Great. How long will that take?"

"Unknown," Spock said. "Your arrival here is most unexpected."

Lance was getting annoyed. "We should call you Captain Obvious."

"Why? That is not my name," Spock said flatly.

"Captain!"

"What…is it…Sulu?"

"I'm getting a strange reading. There seems to be something on our port nacelle," Sulu reported.

"On screen," Kirk ordered.

The main view screen switched to show the port warp nacelle.

"Sulu…there's…nothing out there."

"But sir, my sensor readings showed something out on the hull," Sulu stated.

"I think…you're under…too much stress. Why don't you…take a break."

"But sir…" Sulu protested.

"Don't make me…make that…an order."

"Yes sir," Sulu answered.

"Look, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm leaving," Lance said.

Lance hurried back into the elevator and started pushing buttons but nothing happened.

Kirk nodded to Spock.

Spock walked into the elevator with Lance.

"Stay away from me." Lance threw a punch at Spock who shrugs it off.

Before Lance can react, Spock placed a hand on his shoulder. The last thing Lance remembered was seeing the floor rush up as he blacked out.


	9. S2E9 Lance's Star Trek: Part 2

**The Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Lance's Star Trek: Part II**

Lance stirred on the cold, metal table. His eyes opened slowly and he could see the blurry lines of what looked to be a beautiful, brown-haired woman in a strange blue uniform standing over him. He could hear her calling to him.

Nurse spoke softly. "Sir, are you awake?"

Lance thought he was dreaming and dismissed the idea that the woman was bending over him.

"Get up!" the nurse said smacking Lance across the face.

Lance grabbed his cheek and sat up. "Damn! Did you have to hit so hard?"

"Next time, get up and I won't have to hit you."

Just then the door slid open, then slid closed then slid partially open and got stuck.

"Damn doors!" Dr. McCoy said as he squeezed through the doorway. "I hope we get bigger budgets in the future. Damn Federation is worse than the movie studios. They'll pay millions of dollars for a movie about a boat sinking, but can't give us the money to get a decent door."

Lance glanced at the doctor then at the nurse, who was at a counter with her back towards him. "Uh…doc, can you tell me why I blacked out?"

McCoy walked over to Lance. "That's simple. The Vulcan Neck Pinch."

"The what?"

"You know that tall guy with the pointy ears? He pinches a nerve on your neck which makes you pass out. It's great if you're ever in a bar fight." McCoy opened his doctor's bag and pulled out a flask, taking a big swig.

"Yeah…now, can you tell me out to get out of here and back to my home?"

McCoy almost spit out his drink. "Dammit boy! I'm a doctor not an engineer." McCoy took another wig. "You need to talk to Scotty."

"Who's he?" Lance asked.

"The engineer. Try to keep up." McCoy took yet another drink.

"Ok. How do I find him?"

McCoy sighed. "Just head towards the back of the ship. When you hear the bag pipes, you're close."

"Um…thanks." Lance left as quickly as he could, squeezing through the door before it closed on him.

McCoy turned around and looked at the nurse's backside. "Nurse Barrett, wanna play Doctor?"

"Touch me and you're a dead man."

"Ooooo…feisty."

Nurse Barrett sighed. "And I slept with the creator/writer for this?"

After an hour of getting lost, Lance finally found the engineering bay. He figured Scotty was the slightly over-weight man with the thick accent and wearing the kilt.

"Excuse me, are you Scotty?"

"Why yes, laddie. What can I do you fer?"

Lance took a deep breath and then relayed the recent events to Scotty.

"So, can you get me home?" Lance asked hopefully.

Scotty smiled. "Of course, Lad. It's really quite simple. Some how, the so called elevator that you were in crossed over the same astral-dimensional gateway that the turbolift was passing over at the same time. This occurred at the same time that the transporter was activated. An explosive device that was transported off the ship exploded inside a nebula, which created the rip in space and time which brought you here onto our ship."

"Sounds like the plot of a campy sci-fi show," Lance remarked.

"Aye, those are me favorite. I love it when it ends up bein' the science guy who saves the day. But does he get any credit….no! He only gets a few lines here and there until they need him to save the ship. Only then does he get camera time. The rest of the time is used on the oblivious captain who can't make a decision without asking everyone on the ship."

"Can we get back to the matter at hand….which is getting me home."

"Well, I'm sorry son. I can't get you back home," Scotty told him.

"What? Why not?!"

"You see…I ate a batch of green apple like fruit and it's workin' through me system. Why else do you think I wear this skirt with no underwear? It's easier to get to the bathroom."

Lance did his best to resist the urge to puke. "I think I'll go talk to the captain." Lance left as quickly as he could.

"Captain! There is an enemy wessel off our port bow." Checkov reported.

"A what?" asked Kirk.

"A wessel. You know, an enemy wessel."

"A…wessel?...What the hell….is…a wessel?" Kirk inquired.

"A wessel! You know, what we have but the enemy has one too!" Checkov explained.

"Speak English….dammit!"

"Captain, I believe he is saying there is an enemy vessel outside," Spock interrupted.

"Yes!" Checkov exclaimed.

"Well….why didn't…you say so? On…screen."

The view screen flickered to show a Klingon Bird of Prey floating in the path of the Enterprise.

"Klingon bastards….Red Alert…..shields up….weapons….at the ready."

"Captain, are you preparing to attack?" Spock asked.

"Why yes..."

"That's not logical."

"With you….everything's….not logical."

The turbolift door opened and Lance walked out onto the bridge.

"What's happening now?" Lance asked.

"We're…under attack."

"No…we are not," Spock argued.

"Prepare….to fire….all weapons."

"I cannot let you do that, Captain."

"You'll…have to stop…me first, Vulcan."

Kirk threw a punch at Spock who easily blocked it. Grabbing the captain, Spock threw him across the bridge. Kirk came at him again, and again he was thrown aside. This happened three more times before Kirk stopped charging.

"You're…quite strong. But….I can have….you arrested….for mutiny."

"You are unfit for command. I am taking over this vessel," Spock said unemotionally.

"Over….my dead….body." Kirk looked down and noticed a tear in his shirt. Grabbing his shirt, Kirk ripped it open and threw it to the floor. "You won't….be taking…my ship."

Kirk stepped forward and slipped on the shirt, plowing face first onto the floor. Standing up, he wiped the blood from his lip.

"This is too much for me to bare. I'm going back down with the half naked Scotsman."

Lance got back in the turbolift and pressed the button. The lift moved a few floors before there was a heavy jolt and then the doors opened. In front of him was a hallway from the Castle of Lions. Stepping out he realized he was back home.

"Ok, what happened?"

"The enterprise and her crew were cancelled. Apparently, the Federation didn't feel as though it was worth having them up there in space. Not enough ratings," a strange young man told Lance.

"Who are you?"

"Oh, the names Abrams." He reached out shook Lance's hand.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm meeting a friend of mine, Justin Marks, for lunch." Abrams said as he got in the elevator.

Lance watched the doors close. "And I thought the poodle episode was messed up."


	10. S2E10 Lance Meets Master Splinter

**The Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Lance Smells A Rat**

"Another day, another robeast waiting for us." Lance left his quarters and headed for the elevator. "This is almost becoming formulaic."

Lance arrived at the elevators just in time to see one set of doors close and Allura, who was inside the elevator flip the bird to an elderly man wearing a suit, who banged on the elevator door as it closed.

"Excuse me," said the man with a British accent. He slipped past Lance and started running down the stairs as though he was on a sinking ship.

"Weird," Lance said.

Another set of doors opened and Lance quickly slipped in, pressing the button for the first floor.

Lance pulled out the paper that was under his arm and started reading the big headline. "It says here that J.K. Marks' latest book, _Stealth Voltron and the Deadly Robeasts_, hit the New Arus Times Best Seller list. I guess they'll be making a movie on that."

"It certainly sounds like it," came a mysterious voice.

Startled, Lance turned around quickly. Standing before him was a 5 ft 3 in tall rat, holding a walking stick and wearing a ragged, purple Japanese robe.

"Who are you?" asked Lance.

"I am no one, and yet, I am someone."

"Huh?" Lance asked. "What is your name?"

"What is a name? Merely a label to identify oneself, but not to define oneself."

"Ok…then identify yourself."

"I am Master Splinter."

"You don't look like a master of anything to me," Lance remarked.

"I am a master of Ninjitsu. The Art of Invisibility"

.

"The art of invisibility?" asked Lance.

"Yes, for right now, you do not see me."

"Yes I do," Lance said as he folded up his newspaper.

"No, you do not," Splinter said.

Lance was becoming irritated. "Yes…I do."

Splinter whacked Lance over the head with his cane. "No, you do not."

"What the hell was that for?" Lance asked while rubbing his head.

"Do not argue with your master."

"You're not my master."

Splinter whacked Lance again. "Yes, I am."

"Do that again and I'll feed you to Red Lion."

Suddenly, the maintenance hatch in the ceiling of the elevator fell to the floor and four blue space mice wearing different colored ninja outfits repelled down into the elevator.

"What's going on here?" asked Lance.

"Ahh...these are my pupils," Splinter informed him.

"You're kidding, right?"

Cheddar and the others started striking different ninja poses.

"I am very proud of you, my sons.

Lance gave them all a really weird look.

"Now, we must go. A grave danger looms ahead of us." Master Splinter threw a smoke ball onto the floor, causing the elevator to fill with white smoke. Master Splinter and the ninja space mice disappeared without a trace.

Lance coughed uncontrollably. The coughing lasted for several minutes as the elevator approached the ground floor. Lance exited the elevator as soon as the doors opened.

Allura and Keith were in the hallway when they saw Lance leave the smoke filled elevator and rushed to him.

"Lance, are you alright?" Allura asked.

Lance was still coughing sporadically. "Yeah…but you need to have a talk with your mice. Perhaps you should consider getting them therapy."

Allura gave Lance a quizzical look. "Why?"

Before Lance could explain about the space mice, the stairwell door burst open.

"We need to go," Keith said as he grabbed Allura's hand.

"Feel better, Lance" Allura cried out as her and Keith ran down the hall and through a side door.

Mr. Lovejoy approached Lance. "Do you know where they are headed?"

"I think they're headed for the basement," Lance said straightening up.

"Thank you," Mr. Lovejoy said before chasing after Allura and Keith.

Lance shook his head as the man left, his lungs finally cleared of the smoke. "I need to talk to Pidge about these mice," Lance said to himself.


	11. S2E11 Consider the Alternatives: Part 1

**Adventures of Elevator Lance:**

**Consider the Alternatives: Part I**

The big day had finally arrived. Lance had spent all morning helping Keith and the other guys get ready. Hunk, Pidge, Keith and Lance were in Lance's quarters taking care of any last minute grooming. Lance stood before a mirror admiring his reflection.

"You know, I really look good in a tuxedo," Lance remarked.

"Well, if you think you look so good, why don't you get married?" Pidge joked.

"Me get married? I think you need to get your prescription adjusted." Lance pointed to Pidge's glasses. "They're messing up your head."

Pidge gave Lance one of his famous crinkled-face looks.

Keith walked over and stood beside Lance. "How do I look?" he asked. "Does everything seem to be in place?" Keith nervously played with his neck-tie.

Lance brushed away some lint on Keith's shoulder. "You look great, Pal."

"Yeah, Allura's going to drop dead when she sees how good you look," Hunk added.

Keith's eyes bugged out. "Drop dead?"

Pidge nudged Hunk in the ribs.

Hunk grabbed at his side. "Uh…did I say drop dead, I mean…she's going to be speechless….yeah."

"Keith, just relax. You've been looking forward to this for a long time. Everything's going to work out without a hitch," Lance assured him.

"Are you sure?" Keith asked.

"Trust me," Lance said with a grin.

"I do trust you, Lance, it's just that I have been waiting for this for a long time."

"I know, Keith," Lance stated. "Especially after that Katherine mess. After she left for Earth, I didn't think Allura would ever consider marriage again."

"I just want to make her happy," Keith confessed.

"And you will." Lance grabbed Keith's shoulder. "After all, you are her Black Lion Knight."

"I hate to break up the little pep talk," Hunk interrupted. "But its time to go."

The four of them left Lance's quarters and headed down to the hallway to the elevator. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge waited patiently for the elevator to arrive. Keith, though usually calm and collected, now stood rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. His arms were crossed and his forehead was covered in a thin layer of sweat.

The bell dinged and the elevator doors opened. The four tuxedoed Voltron pilots entered the elevator and Keith eagerly pushed the button for the first floor.

They passed the first several floors without speaking. Each lost in their own thoughts. The silence was broken with the first stop the elevator made.

The doors opened and Lance saw a grown man, standing in the hallway wearing a lavender sundress, with spaghetti straps and a large, matching hat. The man, Lance observed, did take the decency to wax his exposed chest. Although, the beard and mustache greatly contrasted with hairless chest.

"I'm sorry," he said noticing the four tuxedoed men. "I'll get the next one."

The doors closed and the elevator started again. A few more flights down and the elevator doors opened. In the hall stood a woman with three children, the youngest boy was in her arms and looked extremely unhappy. The daughter was incessantly asking questions and the other boy was crying very hard.

" Oh thank heavens," the mother asked. "Is there room for us?"

The guys looked at each other hesitantly.

"Ummm…," was all Lance could say.

Without warning the youngest child puked and a green, thick vomit splattered on the floor right in front of the elevator. The young girl cried out and the other boy, nauseated by the sight, added his own vomit to the floor.

Keith reached over and pressed the 'close doors' button repeatedly.

Keith was extremely anxious. He watched as the numbers over the doors counted down. The elevator stopped again.

"Now what!" Keith said angrily.

The doors opened and the four peered out to see who had pushed the call button.

Before them in the hallway were four space mice, each were wearing a different colored ninja costume. The four mice were fighting a blue cat that was wearing silver armor with spikes and a strange, Japanese style helmet with an accompanying face plate. Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Keith stood there, watching for several minutes as the four mice launched attacks and counter attacks against the cat.

"I think we need to go." Lance pushed the 'close door' button.

"These doors better not open again until we reach the bottom floor!" Keith threatened.

Sure enough, the elevator stopped again. Lance and the others could see just how annoyed Keith was.

The doors opened to reveal a French poodle, leaning against the door frame smoking a cigarette.

"Hello again" he said winking at Lance.

Keith who was very annoyed, kicked the poodle hard, launching him down the hallway, then pushed the button for the first floor.

Everyone stood in silence as the elevator made its way down to the first floor. The four left the elevator and headed for the grand ballroom, where they met up with Sven.

The ballroom was exquisitely decorated. Coran and Nanny had hired only the best professionals in the wedding business to come and decorate the ballroom for the wedding.

Guests were starting to arrive and Keith and the guys were calmly seating them. Before long it was time to start the ceremony.

Keith, Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Sven walked their respective counter-parts down the aisle to the alter. Lance stood behind Keith as the best man, with Princess Romelle as Allura's matron of honor. Judge Armistice, who was conducting the ceremony, looked at Keith who signaled that he was ready. The music started and the ballroom doors opened, revealing Allura in a stunning, white gown, being escorted up the aisle by Coran.

Keith smiled, thinking how perfect Allura looked.

Allura and Coran weren't four steps away from the door when Haggar burst in.

Haggar threw Coran to the side with her magic then a strange hand made out of green smoke wrapped itself around Allura's throat. "This pretty princess is coming with me. If anyone takes a step forward, she will die!"

Keith, Lance, and everyone else stood frozen as Haggar backed out of the room with Allura in tow, the green hand still wrapped around her throat.

Keith waited until Haggar was out of the door way. "Come on!" He took off out a side door.

Lance, Sven, Hunk and Pidge followed Keith. As they rounded the corner, the five ran into the hall where the main ballroom doors were but there was no sign of Haggar or Allura.

" Split up!" Keith ordered. "Sven, Hunk and Pidge will take the hallway to the right. Lance and I will take the hallway to the left."

The five split, Keith and Lance heading back along the path they took earlier.

"They've got to be around here somewhere," Keith stated.

"We'll find them," Lance assured his leader and best friend.

The two jogged along the halls as alarms started blaring. Rounding another corner, they saw Haggar dragging Allura into an elevator at the far end. They bolted forward, but had to dodge and duck as Haggar started shooting balls of destructive magic at them. The two took refuge in separate recesses along the hallway.

"We have to stop her!" Keith yelled over the blasts and debris falling around them.

Lance was hit in the head by a piece of wall that was blasted away. "You think?"

In a momentary lull in the attack, Lance stood up and ran for the elevator. Keith stood and followed.

"You're too late, heroes!" Haggar screamed as she pressed the 'close door' button. A portal opened up at the rear of the elevator and Haggar dragged Allura backwards into it.

Lance ran as fast as he could, jumping into the elevator and disappearing through the portal.

Keith jumped in after Lance but the doors closed on his foot, preventing him from following through the portal. "NOOOOOOOO!" Keith cried out as the portal disappeared.


	12. S2E12 Consider the Alternatives: Part 2

The Adventures of Elevator Lance:

Consider the Alternatives: Part II

Lance flew out of the portal and crashed head first into the closed doors of the elevator. He laid motionless for several moments, stunned by the impact. He managed to roll over in time to see the portal closing and being replaced by a solid wall.

"Well, that's just great." He stood up, rubbing his head.

Lance pressed the 'open doors' button on the elevator and the doors responded. Lance stepped out into the hall, which closely resembled the hallway he just ran down while chasing Haggar and Allura into the elevator. Looking up and down the hallway, Lance saw no one. He noticed the walls were a bit too clean and the lighting was brighter than he remembered. Enthralled by his surroundings, Lance never heard the footsteps as they approached from around the corner.

" Look, an intruder!" said a Doom soldier.

Lance turned and to see two Doom soldiers just down the hall. "What the?"

The Doom soldiers opened fire on Lance, who bolted down an adjacent hallway. Giving pursuit, the Doom soldiers kept firing. Lance barely dodged a blast that exploded the wall just beside his head. Lance felt a sharp pain in his arm but didn't dare take the time to look. He just kept running.

"_What are Doom soldiers doing here?_" Lance thought to himself.

Lance rounded a corner and collided into something big and thick. Looking up from his seat on the floor Lance saw the familiar face of Hunk.

Lance was grinning from ear to ear. "Hunk, boy am I glad to see you! Doom soldiers are in the castle, we have to…"

Lance noticed that standing behind Hunk was a platoon of Doom soldiers and standing right next to him was a man who looked exactly like him.

" What's going on here?" Lance asked.

"That's what I'd like to know," said the Alternate Lance.

The Doom soldiers who were chasing Lance came up behind him and hoisted him up.

"What should we do with him, Commander?"

"Take him to the throne room," the Alternate Hunk ordered. "The King will decide his fate."

The Doom soldiers escorted a stunned Lance down the hallway. Alternate Hunk turned to Alternate Lance.

"What do you think? A spy sent by the Lotor?"

"I don't know," said Alt-Lance. "He seemed shocked when he saw me. It was like he wasn't expecting it."

"Let's get to the throne room," said Alt-Hunk. "It should get quite interesting now."

The two alternate Lion pilots marched off to the throne room with their platoon of Doom soldiers behind them.

The throne room didn't vary too much from the throne room that Lance knew. If one was to ignore the extra bright lights, the super shiny floor, the black and red carpet that went up the middle of the room to the throne itself, and if one tried very hard to ignore the floor to ceiling size wall scrolls picturing Keith in his flight suit with Black Lion in the background it would look exactly like the throne room back on Lance's Planet Arus.

The Doom soldiers deposited Lance at the base of the steps in front of the throne. Forced onto his knees, Lance had to strain his neck to look up at Keith, sitting upon the throne in black robes with red trim. Flanking the throne were a dozen Doom soldiers. The alternate Lance and Hunk soon entered the throne and took their places on either side of Keith, standing guard over their king.

"Identify yourself," demanded the Alt-Keith.

"My name is Lance McCain."

"How did you get here?" Alt-Keith asked.

"I fell through a portal and…" Lance was cut off before he could finish."

"So, Haggar failed to return to us alone." Alt-Keith stood up from his chair. "GET ME HAGGAR!"

A Doom soldier rushed out of the throne.

"Excuse me, could someone tell me what's going on here?" Lance asked hesitantly.

Alt-Hunk stepped down the stairs and back-handed Lance. "You do not speak to the King unless spoken too."

Alt-Keith sat down and watched as Lance pulled himself off the floor and back onto his knees, Alt-Hunk ready to strike him again. "That will be enough Hunk. I think our guest has a right to know where he is."

Alt-Hunk climbed back up the stairs, bowing to Keith. "As you wish, my King."

"Once Haggar arrives," Alt-Keith adressed Lance. "I will explain everything to you."

It wasn't long before Haggar came into the throne room. She climbed the stairs and knelt before her king.

" You called for me, sire?"

Alt-Keith kicked Haggar hard, knocking her down several stairs. "You failed me again, Haggar."

"But sire!" Alt-Haggar said while crawling back up the stairs. "I brought you the Princess just like you asked."

"But you also brought another with you," Alt-Keith said while pointing at Lance. "You were careless!"

Alt-Haggar noticed for the first time the new Lance. "I'm sorry, your majesty. Please forgive me."

" For your failure, you shall be sent to the dungeons for two days!"

Alt-Haggar became visibly shaken. Her shrill voice cracked as she pleaded with her king. "No! Please sire, allow me to make it up to you."

"I will consider it…after you have done your time." Alt-Keith yelled for the guards to take Alt-Haggar away.

Several Doom soldiers grabbed Haggar and dragged her away, Haggar still screaming her apologies to Keith.

"Now, where was I? Ah yes…" Alt-Keith said as he stood up and stared down at Lance. "I was going to explain the current situation here on Arus."

Lance kept his eyes on Keith, his ears focused in on every word he said.

"It's quite simple really," Alt-Keith stated as he placed his hands behind his back. "The portal that you traveled through brought you to an alternate reality. You see, three years ago, Hunk, Sven, Lance, Pidge and I were sent by the Alliance to locate and activate the robot Voltron in order to defend the Planet Earth from King Zarkon. No doubt this sounds familiar to you.

Lance merely nodded.

"On the way to Arus, we were captured by Zarkon's forces and forced to fight in his dueling ring on Planet Doom. When we emerged victoriously, he offered us the chance to join forces with him. As planned, we staged an escape, in which we were 'shot down' over Arus. We arrived and located the lion keys and activated Voltron. In an elaborate staged battled, we formed Voltron and defended Arus. Over the course of the first month, we worked with Zarkon in secret to make it look like we were defending Arus and to make us look like heroes."

Lance couldn't say anything. Not only was he worried about getting hit again ( or worse ), he was simply too shocked to believe it.

"Coran was the first to discover our secret. We staged a battle right outside the castle, during which a laser canon that he was controlling was hit and the explosion killed him instantly. No one suspected that our Lance had fired upon Coran's turret."

Alt-Lance grinned maliciously.

"Our secret remained safe until Nanny stumbled across a secret communication with Zarkon. I had Hunk and Pidge eliminate her."

"She put up a bit of a struggle, but the lake swallowed her up quickly," Hunk stated.

"Allura was so heart broken when Nanny's body was found that she turned to me for comfort. After months of planning, I was finally going to have Allura to myself. Unfortunately, she found out about our plans with Zarkon and found out about Coran and Nanny's murders. I was left with no choice. I had to kill her. She did put up a strong fight. Using the robot lions, we took over Arus, allowing Zarkon's troops to move in and secure the planet's resources. Then we double-crossed Zarkon. Sven and Pidge led an assault team to Planet Doom and upon eliminating Zarkon, Prince Bandor was named as the ruler of Planet Doom. Haggar was captured and now works for me, other wise, she too will be killed.

Lance showed nothing but disgust for the Alternate Keith and his vile henchmen.

"For the past 2 years we've ruled Arus," Alt-Keith told him. "Day by day more Alliance territory falls. Our only threat is Prince Lotor, who has become a rogue and is believed to be helping the Alliance."

Lance's mind couldn't comprehend what he was hearing. His stomached was knotted from the horrible atrocities that the alternate Voltron Force had committed. He tried very hard not to puke.

"You have been brought before me because Haggar, under my orders, went to your reality to kidnap your Princess Allura, so that I may have her as my bride." Alt-Keith sat down on his throne. "You will be taken to the dungeons until the marriage ceremony is over. After which you will be executed. Take him to the dungeons!"

Doom soldiers arrived at Lance's side and dragged him off to the dungeons. Lance, who was still in shock, didn't fight back.

The door to the dungeon cell closed with a loud bang. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the damp cell, he could see that he was chained to the wall next to the Alternate Haggar. His tuxedo was dirty from being dragged around the castle and had holes from the earlier fire fight. He was still numb from revelations from this reality's Keith.

"You should not have followed me through the portal," Alt-Haggar stated.

"You kidnapped our princess; I couldn't let you get away."

"Little good you've done so far, hero."

"You're a witch; you could end all of this. Why don't you?"

"Because, within this castle, I am at the mercy of King Alfor. If I use my magic without King Keith's permission, I get punished, both by the guards and by the spirit of Alfor."

"Alfor is in on this too?" Lance sighed heavily. "Great, more good news. I shouldn't be here and Allura shouldn't be here either. So what's going to happen to Allura if she refuses to marry Keith?"

"If your princess does not marry the King, then he will surely kill her."

"Well, do you have a plan for getting out of here," Lance asked Alt-Haggar.

"If I help you, I will surely be punished, if not killed."

"Would you rather hang around here until you're dead?" he asked her.

Alt-Haggar paused.

"Help me get Allura back to my reality. If you do, I promise to help you escape."

Alt-Haggar thought for a moment. "Deal."

"Great. Now, how about we start with these chains."

Alt-Haggar started chanting.

After several intense moments, the shackles broke away. Alarms started blaring throughout the castle.

In the throne room, King Keith was standing at a makeshift alter; Allura was still in her wedding gown crying. Alt-Lance, Alt-Hunk, Alt-Pidge, and Alt-Sven we're all standing with them dressed in tuxedoes. Alarms started filling the room.

"What the hell is that?" Alt-Keith asked, very annoyed.

"We'll check it out," Alt-Hunk said.

Alternate Hunk, Lance, and Sven left the throne room to find out the source of the disturbance.

Alt-Keith turned to the preacher. "Continue. This wedding will not be interrupted."

Just then the doors burst open and Sven, Lance, and Hunk came flying back through, landing hard and getting knocked out.

"Hope I didn't miss anything," Lance said with a grin.

"LANCE!" Allura cried out as she punched Alt-Keith in the face then ran down the aisle to Lance. "Let's get out of here."

"Couldn't agree more, Princess. Let's go."

The two ran out of the throne room, King Keith could be heard shouting our orders.

"Stop them! Find them! Kill them!" Alt-Keith yelled.

Alternate Lance stood up and followed Keith out the door with a legion of Doom soldiers. The two followed Lance and Allura through several corridors, blasting at them whenever they came into view.

"They're gaining on us, Lance!"

"Hold on, Allura. We're almost there."

Rounding a corner, they could see Haggar holding the elevator doors open and a green portal was spinning on the back wall. They ran as fast as they could for it. Suddenly, Lance was blind sided by a strange figure. As he picked himself off the floor, he was face-to-face with his alternate self.

Allura stopped running. "Lance!"

"Go! I'll catch up."

Allura hesitated then ran for the elevator as Lance and Alt-Lance began fighting.

"Hurry, the portal won't stay open much longer," Alt-Haggar said.

Allura was hesitant to trust Haggar, Alternate or otherwise. "How do I know this isn't a trick?"

"Just go!" Alt-Haggar shoved Allura through the portal.

Alt-Keith and the others stood and watched the two Lance's fighting.

"Lance, hurry!" Alt-Haggar shouted.

Alt-Hunk was confused. "How do we know which one is our Lance?"

Alt-Pidge was equally dumbfounded. "Yeah, what if we kill the wrong one?"

Alt-Keith stood there calmly. "Shoot them. Shoot them both."

Lance and Alt-Lance stopped fighting and looked at Keith. With the look of 'oh shit' both of them bolted for the elevator as laser blasts exploded around them.

The portal started to shrink and the doors of the elevator started to close.

"Hurry!" Alt-Haggar urged them on.

Both Lance's dove through the doors but only one made it through the portal, the other was stopped by the elevator doors closing on his foot.

Lance fell through the portal and landed hard on the elevator floor. Keith and the others helped him off the ground.

"Lance, you made it!" Allura exclaimed giving him a hug.

"Dude, what happened to your tuxedo?" Hunk asked.

"Yeah, it's full of holes!" Pidge stated.

"And you're bleeding," Keith said.

"It's a long story guys. Right now, I just want to change and get the two of you through this wedding."

"Then let's get going," Sven said.

Back in the alternate reality, an unconscious Lance was being chained to the dungeon walls.


End file.
